My Torah portion, Toldot, is about two brothers, Jacob and Esau, the sons of Isaac and Rebecca. Rebeccah favors Jacob and Isaac favors Esau. One day, in return for a bowl of lentil stew, Esau trades Jacob for his birthright. Jacob then deceives his father Isaac who was then a blind old man. Jacob tricked his father into believing that he was Esau. He gave Isaac barbeque, and Isaac favored him for that. In that way, Jacob got his father’s respect and stole the first-born blessing.
Esau got very sad and angry, and then Jacob ran away, afraid of being killed by his brother. Jacob experienced many journeys, including working for a shepherd for decades, marrying two people in exchange for it, having two more wives over time, and even wrestling with an angel. In return for fighting with the angel, he was named Yisrael. Jacob was willing to sacrifice himself in order to protect his wives, even though in the end, he was safe. When Jacob finally learned where Esau was, he sent Esau a letter and offered him a gift, in exchange, in order to make peace with Esau and not go to war, as Esau and his men were currently at war. The two brothers finally met and made amends with each other - even though bribery is probably not a good way to create peace and forgiveness with others.
A question I ask myself regarding my Torah portion is: What is the best way to create forgiveness and peace, whether it is in the Torah or real life issues in the world? The Torah does not give any explanation about this. A scholar named Terence Fretheim stated that “in matching deception for deception, the narrator must have understood Jacob’s activity in Genesis 27 as reprehensible. Jacob must know something of how Isaac felt.” Jacob didn’t have to understand the pain of how his brother felt by experiencing it himself. That would be cruel - but understanding Esau’s emotions does cause Jacob to understand how badly he must have hurt Esau by doing what he did - and to feel badly for it, realizing what he did was wrong. This means that a good way to resolve what happened is for Jacob to understand what Esau went through without having to face the pain and suffering of it himself. Bible Scholar Victor Hamilton once stated that “He who is capable of wrestling with God wrestles little with his mother or with his conscience.” I think this means that because Jacob was able to wrestle with an eternal being like God, he should have been able to easily refuse his mother’s misguided instructions to deceive Isaac and know that what he was doing was wrong, So we can blame Jacob for that. However, that just answers what he could have done differently in the past. He already did what he did and cannot change that. It’s a matter of the best way he could resolve the conflict and create peace with his brother because of what he did - Not what he could have done differently since that is in the past. Rabbi Shai Held also quoted from Mishnah (bava kamma 2:6), “...human beings are always held responsible for their actions.” This might imply that Jacob should have acknowledged that he was responsible for his wrongful actions and should apologize to Esau for what he did. it was never directly stated in the Torah that he gave a sincere apology. Forgiveness in my portion, just by bribery, is probably not the best way for peace and forgiveness, and it doesn’t seem to be something the Torah has said anything about or answered.
I, however, came up with what I think is the best way for creating peace, which was my inspiration for my Bar Mitzvah Project about racial conflict and healing. I did learn some things from my portion which helped me direct myself to my answer, which is: Forgiveness is a very good ability to have, and people can get along with one another better by using that ability, despite all the tough times and fighting they go through with each other in the past. Over the course of working on my Torah portion, I also worked on a Bar Mitzvah Project that interested me and which I thought could really connect to my portion. I am passionate about racial justice and I wanted to try to find a way that could help everyone come to a resolution on how to solve the current race relations problem in America.
My main inspiration for this idea came from an anime that I was watching during quarantine. In the anime called Naruto, Naruto, the protagonist, fights a villain from a group who wants to capture a beast inside of him, and that villain thought the world was a hateful world full of war and conflict. The villain wants to cause destruction to others, so they can experience pain and create true peace, since the villain thinks that sharing pain can lead to peace. His method of creating peace was not the appropriate way to achieve it - However, the concept of sharing pain to create peace is a very good one. I came to realize that much of the problem involves miscommunication and that people don’t want to or don't know how to understand one another. I learned from my project that both the Black Lives Matter Movement and its opponents want their side to be heard, and sometimes find it hard to listen to each other. So, I decided to interview different people with different perspectives and I tried to gain an understanding of as many points of views as I could. I interviewed police officers, black people, white people, Democrats, Republicans, from all walks of life, professions, and ages. I agree with the concept of sharing pain to help create peace, but took it to my own perspective, and thought to myself that the “sharing pain” concept could be turned into sharing one's thoughts and opinions. In my interviews, I found that most people who feel deeply about racial conflict, could still admit that a big part of the problem is a miscommunication issue and acknowledge that talking to one another can create understanding and healing. So we should still try to have a discussion, even if it is hard. I learned from the experience of my interviews that everyone has something interesting to say, and that if people can just stay calm, they might learn a thing or two from the opposing side that they find new and revealing. I learned that ignorance and opinions come from upbringing and life experiences.
Discussions are arguably one of the best ways for us to understand one another without having to suffer any pain from realizing what others have been through or what might have led them to their opinions. Now, my Torah portion connects with my project because just as there is a racial conflict in America, Jacob and Esau had a family conflict. Both Jacob and Esau did some things that weren’t so great, like how Esau was a “wicked child” and how Jacob deceived Isaac in order to take the first born blessing from him. This led to conflict and both children leaving, instead of a talk that could have cleared up why Jaocob did what he did and why Esau was angry. However, it wasn’t necessarily Jacob’s fault. It was also, his mother’s misguided information, just as how both the Black Lives Matter movement and its opponents are sometimes blinded with at least some ignorance about what the other side is thinking and believes. Esau cried and got angry with Jacob, without trying to listen to his opinion, just as so many today do not want to listen to each other in our current race relations problem. However, later, after years and years of their own journeys and experiences, Jacob and Esau make amends.They meet, finally creating peace. Perhaps, if everyone is upfront with one another, we can all come to understandings and resolutions to help solve race relations in America.
I am grateful to friends who I was able to keep in touch with during this difficult pandemic and being able to live in my grandparents' nice homes in Connecticut and Mattapoisett, with a yard, helping my anxiety get better during quarantine. I am also grateful for my counselors and school and therapy which helped me deal with all the stress that I was facing earlier during the virus, and I feel much better now.
I would like to thank my grandma for helping me get organized with school, my D'var Torah and Bar Mitzvah project and interviews while I was staying with her, and my grandpa for cooking some great meals during remote school and waking me up in the morning every day. Thank you to my mom for taking care of me and spending so much time to help me during the summer, keeping me on track with my Bar Mitzvah work and bringing me to my baseball games, even though she had so much other work to do. Thank you to Moreh Avi for my Bar Mitzvah lessons and helping me prepare for this day. Thank you to my Uncle for helping me with my mental health during Covid as well and the Rabbi for helping with my D’var Torah. Finally, I would like to thank everyone who let me interview them for my Bar Mitzvah Project and all of you -My family and friends - my Chaverim classmates and everyone for joining the Zoom for my Bar Mitzvah.
Shabbat Shalom