Hello everyone. It's so good to see so many familiar faces! I’m so glad so many of my friends and family could make it here, and I so appreciate everyone taking time out of their busy weekend to celebrate me.
When I was in 5th grade, I learned that I had ADHD, which is a very common diagnosis, but even though so many people have it, it does not make it easier to deal with. And even though Newton Public schools was supposed to be a great fit, they did not really fit. And my friends who I thought were my best friends did not take it well either. My friend who was already diagnosed with ADHD, I told her, “I have ADHD now too. We have the same disability, isn't that cool?” My friend said - I kid you not - “Why can’t you let me have this one thing?” She acted like I forcefully diagnosed myself with ADHD to have the same thing as her. And then she ran off the hill.
I am SO THANKFUL to all my doctors, let me just say that - but it did not help when I met this doctor who was helping me diagnose it. The doctor said, “Let me ask you all these questions with things I already know about you and then clarify, “You barely have ADHD, but you do have it.” I clearly did not barely have it.
And then I started to take (and still take to this day) the ADHD medicine that my parents have so amazingly found for me. It really turned my life right side up again. I was able to focus in my classes a little bit better, even though in the end I still changed schools. So that is my story on ADHD.
But my story on DMDD is a whole other story. I was really little and we always knew that I was not typical because I almost punched through the glass as a three year old and I was punching my parents. I didn’t want to be doing that, but I was so little we didn't know what we could do. It’s not like I was physically hurting anyone… But as I got older, we started to realize that it was un-normal behavior to act how I was acting, and it was starting to mess the family up too. But I have come to realize that one bad action does not define me.
So we went to see someone named Dr. Shine, who did a bunch of weird stuff with me, but I appreciate her, and met with some other doctors and did some other tests and stuff and we discovered that I had DMDD, which kinda stands for “Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder.” When I say disruptive, I don’t mean I could get upset in public and everyone could get upset. I mean it’s disruptive to my own life and my own feelings.
And even though I got diagnosed with something to supposedly fix that, it didn’t go away immediately, and it is still not gone to this day.
Although it is something you can grow out of. I have not yet.
And it took a while to find the right medication, which I’m SO thankful for. Although some meds do not work, and there are side effects, the end result is so helpful. If I were to stop taking them now, my body would go back to its old state and that would be a whole thing and I’d probably end up in the hospital, not necessarily for physical stuff, for mental instability.
And I just want to state that medicine does not always help, but it is absolutely always, always worth a shot. Even if at first it doesn’t work, you are probably on the wrong medicine.
In my Torah portion, we learn about things being a certain way, but the Jubilee Year turns it all a different way. Every 50 years, there is a year where someone has debt, not anymore, someone is super rich, not anymore, someone has slaves, not anymore. The Jubilee Year is about second chances and forgiveness. Because it’s like - if I have debt, it just disappears, so that means that I can try to have that debt not happen next time around. I could be in a different situation next time around. I had a harder time before my medication because we thought it was going to be impossible to help me or to get into a better state. But what is that? A medication, and that gave me a second chance in life.
I would not be able to put in the work and be at this Bat Mitzvah. I’d be at home - depressed and upset all the time, and not even be at Chaverim.
But over the years, I have learned that it’s not about how heavy the weight is, it’s about how you carry it.
And I learned to carry it alongside my medication and my school support and the strategies that I’ve learned over the years, which definitely lifted my strength. And I learned to carry it alongside the people who love me, instead of shoving them away.
To all the people who are taking medication , raise your hand up high, and don’t be ashamed of it.
Thank you for being in a vulnerable state. As I become a Bat Mitzvah, I want to see a change of heart for people to not just be scared of what they don’t know but rather to explore the unknown and take the chance of hope.
And now I’m moving into the thank yous for all the people I want to thank for getting to this point.
And of course I want to thank my brother for always helping me at Hebrew School even though he is working - so thank you.
I would also like to thank my mom and dad for never giving up on me when I’m upset and just down right needing support. Thank you and I love you so much.
I would love to thank my cohort for this wonderful year and Hebrew experience. If it weren’t for you guys I wouldn’t be here today.
And thank you to my teachers, especially Moret Jon, for helping me learn about Judaism and the importance of the work. Thank you to Morah Hillary, Miss Benita, Morah Missie and Rabbi Aliza. Thank you so much.
And last but not least, my friends, thank you for spending time with me
- I enjoy it so much.
And ok, actually last but not least, thank you so much to everyone who is helping me with this bat mitzvah.
Ok ok ok, I get one more, thank you to my grandparents and everyone here.
Shout out to my family that traveled from Syracuse - Thank you soo soo soo much for coming!
Shabbat shalom!