You Don’t Have to Choose Between Your Kids and Kavanah
Has this ever happened to you or someone you know? Just when the shofar blows or another focused spiritual moment begins, parents are quietly digging through bags for goldfish crackers. The congregation settles into prayer, and someone’s chasing their three-year-old down the hallway, looking like they’re wondering if they should just pack it up and head home.
At Temple Hillel B’nai Torah, we’ve embraced an old truth: it takes a village. When parents know their children are truly welcome—when the whole community understands that family sounds are part of our sacred space, not disruptions to it—parents can actually settle into that focused spiritual intention, their kavanah.
Rabbi Aliza Schwartz helped us see that sacred space isn’t defined by silence alone. The sounds of children, families getting comfortable, even a little chatter: this can be holy noise, too. When a community wraps around its families like that, something shifts. Parents can breathe. The entire kahal, the congregation, relaxes. They can focus. They can find their own spiritual center because they’re not constantly on edge, wondering if their kid is bothering someone. Children feel their value, and curiosity and connection can grow. And somehow, in all that realness, the prayers find their way in.
What we’ve discovered is that when we remove anxiety for some, we create calm for everyone. When families don’t have to worry about disrupting worship, parents can be genuinely present in prayer. When single adults and longtime members see a community that normalizes different needs—children’s sounds, stepping out, asking questions—they realize there’s room for their own authentic selves too. When inclusion becomes the norm rather than the exception, everyone stops walking on eggshells. Teenagers witness spirituality that makes space for real questions. Newcomers see that belonging isn’t something you have to earn or perform perfectly. The entire congregation can exhale and settle into their own spiritual center, knowing they’re in a place where being human—in all its messiness—is not just tolerated but welcomed as holy.
That’s what we’re building this year. Rabbi Aliza, our Education Director Hilary Pinsker Engler, PhD Ed., Benita Block, Director of Administration & Communications, and our amazing volunteers have been working together to create High Holy Day programming that actually works for real families. Our families. Your family.
What we’ve planned
There will be children’s services designed with specific age groups in mind—because what works for a baby doesn’t work for a four-year-old, and what works for a ten-year-old definitely doesn’t work for a teenager. We’ll have:
- “Apples, Honey & Shanah Tovah Sing-Along” for the youngest children and their grownups on Rosh Hashanah morning.
- Participatory family services for kids age 4 through 2nd grade and their adults, full of singing, storytelling, and laughter.
- High Holiday Sing-Along for babies and toddlers on Yom Kippur morning.
- Teen discussions that take seriously the questions teens are actually wrestling with.
- A quiet, calm space for anyone of any age who needs a break from sensory stimulation.
- A family-friendly overflow room with a large screen showing our live service, so anyone can step out of the sanctuary with restless kids—or just take a breather—and still participate fully in the prayers and community experience.
- And of course, our full congregational services led by Rabbi Aliza Schwartz and Eliana Golding, filled with music, meaning, and community.
Childcare will also be available during services, but advance registration is required. Please fill out our Childcare Interest Form to reserve your spot.
There is a modest fee for non-members only. As always, please don’t let cost be a barrier. We’re committed to making HBT work for your family, whatever your situation.
High Holy Days — Details & Registration