Shabbat Shalom! Today, I would like to share a story with you all. In the past year, a lot has happened, and I mean A LOT. As some of you may know, I was sick and it wasn't just flu sick or cold sick. I was sick sick and I didn't know exactly what I had, it was completely unknown and I had to go through a crazy series of tests and exams and in the end we still didn’t know. But the thing was, I didn’t have to know, I just had to believe. I had to believe and put trust in God, in my family, in my doctors and in my community. During this time, there was a lot happening in the world, I missed school, so much was happening on the news, and I had to prepare for today. However, while I was sick, I decided it was important for me not to focus on that, instead, I needed to focus on getting better.
During this time I had to maintain hope that I would get better. One big part of that was having a growth mindset, I had to focus on improving the future instead of dwelling on the present. It was hard at times, I got mad, and sad, and anxious, and I didn't think I was getting better, but with the support of my family and friends I was able to make it through. Having faith was a big part of that, I had to push through and believe in not only myself but also everyone else. Sometimes it can be hard to trust people because you don’t always know if you can, especially random doctors and medical students you had just met in the hospital that day. In my parsha, we can see that the Israelites had a hard time trusting God:
Once the Jews got close to Canaan, they decided to send people into the land to see if it was good. So, they sent one person from every tribe into the land for 40 days. These were the 12 spies, and when they came back, most of the spies said it would not be a good idea to go in. Because even though the land was good, the people living there were big and it was scary.
Two of the spies, Caleb and Joshua, said it was a good idea to go in, because God was with them, and they would get through. But the people decided to believe the majority of the spies and at that point they gave up. They wished they had not traveled for so long just to reach a place that they thought was unreachable to them. So they gave up and reacted in a disrespectful way, saying things like they wished they had not trusted Gd or traveled so far to this Promised Land. Because of that, Gd decided to punish them and not let them go into the Promised Land. But Caleb and Joshua, as well as the next generation, could go in.
Rabbi Jessica Locketz shares that “Joshua and Caleb were realistic; they noted that there would be challenges to overcome. But they also believed that the people would persist and succeed. The others gave up before they even tried”
To me, she is saying that if the Jews had more faith in God they could have overcome those challenges and eventually get into the promised land. Caleb and Joshua knew that it was important to not let doubt overpower the faith you have in God and the people around you. And because of this they were able to enter the land they had always dreamed about.
Although a big part of achieving something better is having faith it is also important to realize that achieving good things is not an easy task, you have to work toward it and cannot give up before trying.
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, in writing about my Torah portion, quotes the research of psychologist Carol Dweck and talks about the importance of a growth mindset and how putting yourself through challenges can help you get better. He mentions that Caleb and Joshua are different because they are focused on the possibilities in challenge instead of the terrifying realities. Or as Rabbi Stacks says, they, ‘take adversity as a learning experience rather than as failure" meaning they are not scared of the challenges and see it as a way to grow rather than a point to stop. Rabbi Sacks compares the situation in my Torah portion to Dweck’s research on kids where they have been tested with many puzzles of increasing difficulty. Some kids gave up when it got too hard, while others chose to keep going. In this scenario, the children are the Israelites, the puzzles are all of the challenges they have faced on their journey. Canaan is the breaking point, and the kids who gave up represent the majority of the Israelites while Joshua and Caleb were the kids who chose to keep going. When the kids persisted and had a growth mindset, as Carol Dweck calls it, they were able to beat the puzzles and Joshua and Caleb were able to make it to the promised land. On the other hand, the people who gave up and had a fixed mindset, were stuck and never grew from the experience.
When I was sick, I would think, “When is this gonna end?” My parents would say something like you will get better or the doctors know what they're doing to try and encourage me to have a better mood. They acted similarly to Caleb and Joshua when they tried to convince the Israelites that they could make it in the promised land. However I reacted like the Israelites, I got mad, I wished I wasn't sick, wished I wasn't in the hospital, wished I could snap my fingers and be healthy. But that wasn’t how it was going to work out.
Sometimes it feels like you are stuck. Like you are in quicksand. You can get out, but you need people to help you. I had to remember that it wasn’t just going to get better by sitting there and waiting, I had to actually put in an effort to feel better about my situation. And I had to trust my doctors, after all they were the ones who knew how to best get me out of the quicksand. And look at me now!
Having faith and a growth mindset are important because they are the things that help you grow and move forward. You can’t always wait for things to happen, you have to take opportunities and learn from them so you can move forward. As a part of becoming a Bat Mitzvah, I did a mitzvah project. My Bat Mitzvah marks the time when I become a Jewish adult, and as part of being a Jewish adult, I have an obligation to do mitzvot, good deeds for my community. For my first mitzvah as a Jewish adult, I volunteered at the Pryde, a senior home for LGBTQ+ people. In my work there I have seen many people make the most of classes like self defense and playing bingo with friends. They are still living and thriving even if they have to walk with walkers, or need help sometimes. I hope that in our lives we will all take all of the opportunities that come to us and are able to live life to the fullest.
Now time for thank yous:
Earlier, if you were listening, you would have heard about how my family and I were reliant on my community in hard times, so I would especially like to thank all the people who assisted my family during our hard times this year.
Additionally I would like to thank my teacher Jon for supporting me and helping me. And I want to thank my tutor, Missie, for helping me learn all of the prayers and my torah portion.
Furthermore I would like to thank all of my rabbis, especially Rabbi Aliza for helping further my thinking for this Dvar.
I would also like to thank my friends and family for supporting me.
Especially thanks to my mother and my most handsome and wonderful father, for giving me the most amazing day as well as all the years that have passed and the ones to come. I love you so very much, remember that, next time I'm yelling at you.
I would like to thank my sister for being trying to help me write this d’var, even though I didn't take your ideas. Also thank you for being so kind to me and know that no matter how much you yell at me, I know you love me.
And most importantly I would like to thank all of you for traveling here and supporting me on this day.