Ritual is one of the ways Jewish communities create meaning together. Through repeated and shared practices (minhagim) — prayer, song, movement, and shared norms — ritual connects us to Jewish time, community, and tradition. In a Reconstructionist framework, ritual invites participation and reflection, allowing individuals to engage honestly while supporting a shared communal experience.

This section refers to minhagim specifically related to services and prayer. This is encapsulated by the term avodah, meaning holy service. The minhagim (practices) we observe at HBT are derived from the Jewish values of kavod (honor, respect), hidur mitzvah (making the ritual beautiful/special) and kadosh (holiness/sanctification).

Please continue reading below for more explanation of these concepts. After reading this section, we hope you will understand "the why" and feel prepared to attend services and other community events at HBT in keeping with these values.

We make a place holy, including a synagogue sanctuary, our homes, or outdoors, (such as during tashlich when we "cast or throw" our misses of the past year into moving water on Rosh Hashanah) by bringing Shechinah* into the space through our connection to each other and the acts we perform together. We do this with mindfulness, engagement, intentions, body language, and positioning (standing vs. sitting).

Below are some examples of ways we bring the divine essence into our practice, with additional explanations in the next section addressing Shabbat and the Holy Days:

• Saying blessings before meeting, conducting work for the community, and studying Torah
• Wearing kippot (yarmulkes, head coverings) in the sanctuary - all genders and ages are encouraged to do this
• Praying with a minyan - creating a quorum of 10
• Conduct in services, including when we stand, sit and bow at certain times
• Respecting, studying and chanting Torah
• Reciting misheberach (healing prayers) and yahrzeit (memorial) prayers and names
• Lichvod Shabbat & kavod Shabbat - (honoring the Shabbat) and hidur mitzvah (making the observance of the commandments beautiful). We can express this by wearing special clothes or talitot (prayer shawls), decorating the Torah scrolls, beautifying the Shabbat or holiday home, making a beautiful sukkah, or setting a beautiful table for meals
• Reciting the blessing over bread (hamotzi) and the kiddush (sanctifying Shabbat and festivals with food and drink) communally before meals and reciting the Birkat Hamazon (prayers of thanksgiving after meals)
• Wearing white on Yom Kippur
• Using special greetings (ie Shabbat Shalom, Chag Sameach, Mazal Tov)
• Havdalah rituals marking the end of Shabbat

* In essence, the Shechinah is the tangible, experienced nearness of God in the world.

Ritual and Ger Toshav: Temple HBT has an especially welcoming stance toward anyone who is "close" to Jewish community but who does not identify as Jewish themself- we call this person a ger toshav. HBT is led and made vibrant by many interfaith families, and in 2023, our community voted to allow gerim toshavim to serve on our community board, in official leadership positions, including chairing the board. We encourage anyone who wants to participate in Jewish ritual overall to participate, whether you identify as Jewish or not! You are very welcome in our sanctuary. There are some specific rituals that only make sense to be performed by those who identify themselves as Jewish. They are discussed in the sections on Shabbat, B-Mitzvahs and Torah.

The Sanctuary is treated as a shared sacred space when we gather for prayer. Reverence is expressed through intention, presence, and care for one another — not necessarily silence or uniform behavior.

• Everyone is invited to wear a kippah (head covering), regardless of gender.
• Singing, listening, and attentiveness are encouraged.
• You do not need to know the words, read Hebrew, or feel "fully into it" to participate. Listening, humming, reading silently, or simply being present are all valid forms of participation.

Children are welcome and valued.

• Quiet toys and books are available in a back area.
• Gentle movement and quiet play are expected and accepted.
• Adults are invited to model patience and shared responsibility.
• Our youngest members often learn best through song - listen to "The Kippah Song" written by long time HBT member and songwriter, Cantor Jeff Klepper, and his music partner Dan Freelander, to learn together why Jews wear kippot.

This reflects our commitment to being a multi‑generational community.

• No one is expected to know these practices already.
• Physical ability, language comfort, and experience levels are respected.
• Questions are welcomed before, during, and after services.

**Please see more information about physical accessibility here.

Members are encouraged to host kiddush (sanctifying Shabbat with food and drink) for special occasions.

• Hosts coordinate with synagogue leadership.
• Hosts help defray costs.
• The community supports welcoming family and friends.

Kiddush is understood as a shared communal celebration, not a private event.

Additional information regarding kashrut can be found in Section V, Keeping Kosher at HBT.

We seek to create an atmosphere of lichvod (honoring) Shabbat, the Seventh Day, the Day of Rest, which is distinct from all other days of the week when we are ruled by schedules and technology. For Jews, a "day" always begins at sundown in the evening (erev) and continues through sundown the following day.

Shabbat at HBT, and as much as possible in our homes, is welcomed as a time to take a breath from the busy demands and pace of work and commerce. As Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel taught, this day is a "sanctuary in time" and we are encouraged to create a "palace in time" rather than space, focusing on sacred rest and spiritual renewal over worldly labor. He describes it as a day to "unplug from the tyranny of things of space." (Heschel, Abraham Joshua. The Sabbath: Its Meaning for Modern Man. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1951)

Shabbat is also special as we make it an "oneg" a time of joy and make our ritual and the day "beautiful." Some people greet the Shabbat as an honored guest, and prepare for its welcome by extra washing and dressing in a way that sets this day and time apart from the "ordinary" or everyday. Of course, it is also a time to come together as a community.

On the High Holy Days (Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur) as well as on the three chagim (festivals): Pesach, Shavuot and Sukkot, the same atmosphere is created and similar guidance applies. These are also "days of rest" and set apart from regular time.

• Writing and drawing are limited on Shabbat and festivals as these activities are traditionally associated with weekday-oriented "creating" (acting) rather than a Shabbat focus on "being." These choices are a meaningful way to embrace the spirit of rest in Jewish tradition and they foster spiritual connection with the distinction of the Sabbath day.
• Exceptions are made for:

  • Children, especially small children for whom drawing is a "delight" and not associated with the workaday world. [We avoid these activities even for children in the Sanctuary on Shabbat.]
  • Security needs such as name tags and registration, as the safety and protection of people and community, and the primary value of pikuach nefesh (preservation of life) always preempts any other values or adherence to ritual.

• Phones and noise-making devices should not interrupt Shabbat services, and generally should be turned to silent in the Sanctuary. It is our practice not to use phones in the building on Shabbat out of respect for the tranquility and sanctity of the day.
• Exceptions include emergencies, health, safety, and caregiving needs.

These norms apply to communal space, not private observance.

Jewish tradition teaches that music has the power to open the heart in ways words alone sometimes cannot. The Psalms remind us to "sing to God a new song" (shir chadash), affirming that melody is itself a form of sacred expression. In prayer, music does not merely accompany the words — it deepens kavanah (intention) and creates emotional and spiritual connection.

A nigun (a wordless melody) is a traditional form of Jewish prayer that relies on sound rather than language. By removing words, a nigun invites each person to enter prayer in their own way, carrying individual feeling into a shared communal experience. In this way, music itself becomes prayer — shaping sacred space, fostering connection, and allowing the community to breathe and sing as one.

• Instruments are generally welcome on Shabbat as they enhance our joy and spiritual uplift.
• Instruments are intentionally included on holidays when adding Hallel to the service. Hallel ("praise") is a collection of six joyous Psalms (113–118) recited during holidays to express gratitude to God. Hallel is recited in full on Shavuot, Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret/Simchat Torah, Hanukkah, and the first two days of Pesach, while a "half Hallel" is recited on Rosh Chodesh (the new month) and the last six days of Pesach.
• On Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), we generally pray with our voices alone.
• Through special Chanting Services and Creative Musical Services that we are beginning to hold more regularly on Friday evenings or Saturday mornings, we explore different forms of music and instrumentation in our sanctuary.

No photographs may be taken, and no video recording in the sanctuary on Shabbat or on Holy Days. These services are on Zoom, and a Zoom recording can be requested through the Temple Administrator.

Regarding B-Mitzvah celebrations - photographs may be taken outside the building after the service, as long as it is done in a discreet way that does not disturb people's experience of Shabbat. During weekdays, photographs may be taken before or after services, in the building or in the sanctuary with prior notice and permission of HBT's Communications team.

In Reconstructionist Judaism, as in other Jewish denominations, the weekly public reading of Torah is a central communal practice. It connects us to Jewish time, shared story, and collective responsibility. Torah is understood as the foundational text of Jewish civilization — shaped over generations and continually interpreted by the communities who engage with it.

Reading Torah aloud on Shabbat is not a private act of study, but a public, communal ritual. By gathering to hear and respond to the same text each week, we affirm that Torah belongs to the entire community and that learning and meaning‑making happen together. Jewish tradition highly values Torah study as a lifelong learning process best done in conversation with others.

Jews everywhere and throughout history communicate respect and reverence for the Torah by:

• Making it fancy with beautiful covers and breastplates;
• Standing and facing it when the Ark is open and Torahs are lifted;
• Refraining from touching the scroll itself with our hands (instead, using the Yad-(pointer for reading);
• Facing the Torah while it is carried around the Sanctuary;
• Touching the Torah with books or tallit during the processional of Torah(s);
• Being extremely careful not to drop it!
• Careful handling of the Etz Chaim (Torah books at our seats) because they also contain the sacred text.

Each Shabbat, we read a parashah (weekly Torah portion), following a structured cycle that links Jewish communities across time and place. Engaging with the same portion week after week allows us to encounter familiar texts with new questions, insights, and perspectives.

Our congregation follows the Triennial Torah Reading cycle, in which the Torah is completed over approximately three years rather than one. This approach reflects our Reconstructionist commitment to:

• Depth of engagement rather than speed;
• Accessibility for readers and listeners;
• Thoughtful learning and reflection.

An aliyah (literally "going up") is the honor of being called to the Torah during the public reading. Receiving an aliyah is a way of publicly participating in the Torah service and affirming one's connection to Jewish communal life.

An aliyah involves:

• Coming to the bimah (raised area or platform) when your name is called;
• Standing near the Torah and reciting the blessings before and after the reading;
• Participating in a shared moment of honor and responsibility.

Aliyah refers to both the honor of being called to bless the Torah AND the specific verses of the Torah being read. The focus of an aliyah is presence and intention, not performance.

• At HBT a kippah and tallit are worn by anyone going up, regardless of gender. (A tallit is typically worn only by Jewish adults, as the tzitzit (fringes) are there to remind us of our commitment to Jewish observance. A tallit is first received and worn when one becomes a B-Mitzvah).
• Guidance is always available for blessings, and Hebrew and transliteration sheets are on the bimah for you.
• Before you recite the blessing for the Torah reading, you will take your tallit (prayer shawl) and touch it to the section of the Torah that is about to be read and kiss your tallit. After the section is chanted, you repeat that action of respect, and then chant the blessings after the reading. Then, you move to your left and stand there until the next aliyah is completed.
• We urge you to know and/or create your Hebrew name, usually framed as: Your first name, and those of your parent(s). The Rabbi is available to consult with you on this.
• Jewish law requires that a minimum of ten verses are read at each Shabbat service when reading from the Torah scroll. At HBT on Shabbat, we usually have five aliyot, sometimes three (the minimum), always totalling at least ten verses. These may be assigned in advance, but usually, the honors for the blessings are given out during the service. If you have a particular moment in your life to celebrate or honor that week, you might ask for an aliyah on the spot or in advance.
• When we celebrate a B-Mitzvah, we have the full seven aliyot plus the maftir.

• Torah may be chanted from the scroll or a Chumash (printed text)
• Both ways of chanting are honored in our community.
• On special occasions, such as B-Mitzvahs and High Holy Days, we strive to have the Torah readers chant directly from the scroll.
• There are a different number of aliyot on the different holidays. Five are customary for festivals. Six plus the maftir aliyah on Yom Kippur.

Torah reading is primarily supported by lay leadership.

• Members of the Torah Readers Group receive training and coaching.
• New readers are always welcome. Contact the Avodah Committee!
• Learning is part of participation, not a prerequisite.
• Reading from the Chumash(Etz Chaim-5 books of Torah) is generally acceptable, although on B-Mitzvahs and Holy Days our practice is to have Torah readers read directly from the scroll.

No one is expected to already know how to read Torah.

Respect for the Physical Torah

• We stand when the Torah is lifted or carried or when the ark is open, if able.
• We face the Torah as it moves through the congregation.
• Remaining seated for accessibility needs is fully respected.

Who Recites the Blessings

• Torah blessings are recited by Jewish adults receiving an aliyah because the blessing explains that we are accepting the mitzvah (commandment)of being called to the Torah.
• Non‑Jewish partners or family members (gerim toshavim) may stand at the bimah with their loved one(s) but do not recite the blessings because they are not obligated under the commandment/mitzvah to receive Torah and its teachings, which is the very language of this blessing.

This practice balances:

• Inclusion and dignity;
• Clarity about Jewish ritual roles;
• Honesty and transparency.

The Role of the ger toshav in Torah Ritual

By the same token, gerim toshavim do not perform rituals such as:

• Carrying the Torah in the processional
• Reading from the Torah scroll as part of the service rituals
• Lifting the Torah (hagbah)
• Reciting a blessing on behalf of the community (over wine or challah for example, or as part of leading liturgy)
• Wearing a tallit

Questions about who can perform which rituals often especially come up at a B-Mitzvah, when several family members whom we may want to honor may not be Jewish. We encourage honors of those family members especially through:

• Opening the ark
• Dressing the Torah (gelilah)
• Presenting an English reading or poem

Kashrut refers to Jewish dietary laws that dictate what foods are permissible to eat, how they must be prepared, and how they should be consumed. Kashrut is one aspect of Jewish identity connecting us to past and future generations and to mindfulness, gratitude and respect for all living things.

At Temple Hillel B'nai Torah it is our aim to nurture each other through creating safe spaces, and by helping each individual feel at home in the synagogue. One of the ways we do this is through a kashrut practice that takes into account halachah (traditional laws), community minhag (customs and practices) at HBT and Reconstructionist values.

A newer area of kashrut consideration reflects the sourcing of foods and the labor used to bring them to market. A leading organization in this area is The Magen Tzedek. Their mission statement explains how kashrut practices are tied directly to Jewish ethical and social justice values. We invite you to consider this aspect of "keeping kosher" by visiting their website: magentzedek.org.

In 2006, a diverse group of HBT members came together and studied for several months with Rabbi Emerita Barbara Penzner. Through our value based decision making process, they created a kashrut policy. Their primary goal was making sure that - in the spirit of Elijah the Prophet's invitation - anyone who is hungry may come and eat. At HBT this means living our values of supporting those who do keep kosher, considering economic differences, building community through sharing meals and honoring Jewish religious traditions. These were just some of the values-based considerations of the 2006 working group that went into their decision making process. This document was revised in 2009 and again in 2017.

As discussed in the "About Rituals" section of this manual we learn about the importance of creating holiness together during prayer. Observing kashrut is one way to affirm our Jewish identity, and bring an aspect of the divine and holiness to the everyday act of eating. It can help transform fueling our bodies into a mindful, intentional act. The following quote from Reconstructionist Rabbi Richard Hirsch helps explain our "why:"

The kitchens, their appliances, and all dishes and utensils are limited to hechshered (kosher-certified) products and caterers. Community Events & Programs are those officially sponsored by HBT, and include committee-sponsored events, Chaverim School, youth groups, tutoring, and Temple HBT-related meetings (e.g. Board meetings, Semi-annual/Annual meetings, other committee meetings). A Private Event is an event that is sponsored and paid for by an individual or group, such as a B-Mitzvah celebration or other life cycle event. If there is a question as to whether an event is a community event or a private event, ask the temple administrator. When planning events at HBT, it must be clear whether the food served will be meat or dairy.

Upstairs Kitchen Use Guidelines

This kitchenette is most frequently used by HBT and Children's House Montessori staff members for personal meals during the work day. The Chaverim School uses food storage in this area for pre-packaged and hechshered snacks, but does not use the refrigerator, microwave or sink for food preparation. The upstairs kitchen is not to be used for food preparation for any HBT sponsored events.

Downstairs Kitchen Use Guidelines

All use of the downstairs kitchen goes through the temple administrator, who also serves as Kashrut Coordinator. All meals cooked in the HBT downstairs kitchen must use hechshered (kosher certified) ingredients and follow the rules regarding separation of dairy and meat and associated cooking and serving implements.

HBT's administrator/Kashrut Coordinator and other staff members are available to prepare food for events at HBT, such as weekly Shabbat kiddush, special Shabbat luncheons, etc. Some of these catered meals are part of Private Events, and some are Community Events & Programs.

• The grape juice, wine and challah used for blessings must be hechshered (i.e. the packaging must have a kosher certification displayed).
• Wine and grape juice do not have to be specifically kosher for events when blessings are NOT said. (e.g. community social events and meals).
• It is the custom for all Chaverim School classes to recite a blessing over their snack before eating.

This section addresses the foods we share for meals, separate from the items we bless before the meal. See above. Sharing food and the responsibility for feeding each other is one way we build community at HBT. Members are able to contribute in a way that is not a burden for their family. In this spirit, our kashrut policy does not exclude home-prepared meals, regardless of the kashrut observance in an individual's home. When preparing foods at home for Temple Hillel B'nai Torah potlucks, members are expected to ensure their contributions do not contain treif (unkosher) ingredients (such as lard, bacon bits, shrimp or crab) and to bring only vegetarian or vegan dishes. Foods containing dairy products are permitted. Food may be served from personal containers using personal serving utensils, and we ask that all food is labeled and lists basic allergens (i.e. gluten, dairy, peanuts etc).

The Kashrut Coordinator maintains a list of kosher caterers that are approved to cook in the downstairs kitchen, available upon request. Our underlying principles of maintaining the separation of milk and meat, not serving or eating treif etc. guide decisions about food served at private and catered events. All private events are managed by the Temple Director of Administration. Please email bblock@templehbt.org for more information.

Our overarching values as a community are that everyone should feel comfortable and their kashrut practices respected.

Before the Passover holiday begins we prepare our cooking spaces by removing chametz (leavened food). Non-kosher for Passover snacks are removed from the upstairs kitchen and only kosher for Passover (KFP) snacks are provided to Chaverim School students. The downstairs kitchen is prepared for the holiday by our kitchen/maintenance staff under the supervision of the Kashrut Coordinator. Counters and other cooking surfaces are thoroughly cleaned and then covered. Everyday cooking utensils and dishes are exchanged for ones designated and reserved for Passover. KFP products are used exclusively to prepare meals served to the community.

Please see the Glossary for kashrut-related terms and definitions in the Appendix.

Children are an essential part of our community at HBT, and their experiences as full and valuable members of that community are central to developing a Jewish identity. Even before children are old enough to attend our Chaverim School program, they have chances to participate in shared Jewish time and ritual through Tot Shabbat services, communal meals, holiday celebrations, etc.

As children grow and are more independent from their parents, they begin to participate in the Chaverim School program, deepening the communal aspect of shared Jewish learning, marking of special times, and familiarity with ritual. While our school does not focus primarily on B-Mitzvah preparation, the school's curriculum and communal experiences are essential for preparing students and families for the ceremony as it is celebrated at HBT. A B-Mitzvah ceremony is not the goal of a Jewish education and certainly does not signify its end, but it is an important marker as a child becomes an adult member of the Jewish community.

At HBT many members use the term B-Mitzvah rather than the gendered versions of bat or bar mitzvah. This choice reflects the inclusive nature of our community, and gives children full ownership of how to refer to themselves on this important life milestone. The word itself means "child of the commandment" and directly reflects the connection of this milestone to a child's growing into responsibility and possibility of new ways to participate in Jewish life.

B-Mitzvah celebrations are an integral part of broader congregational life, recognized as central milestones of individual Jewish life, as well. The entire community is invited to join in this simcha (joyous occasion), which takes place as part of a Shabbat morning service and is open to anyone. Our goal is to create a spiritual experience that the B-Mitzvah child and their family will remember as a joyous milestone in their Jewish journey, while recognizing the child's new role within, and responsibilities to, the wider community.

The B-Mitzvah brochure explains our philosophy and expectations in detail. This is provided to each B-Mitzvah family well in advance of preparing for the day itself. After reading this, if you are left with questions, the Rabbi will be happy to answer any questions you may have about the service and its rituals, and the Temple Administrator will assist you in making plans for everything about the day of.

• The process begins more than one year prior to the actual date of the event
• Regular attendance at Saturday morning services is required.
• Students must be enrolled in a Jewish education program (a minimum of three years' study in the Chaverim School or its equivalent), as determined by the Education Team.
• Hiring a private tutor is required.
• Parents and children participate together in the rabbi's Leaving the Garden group

  • Some goals of this educational program are:

  1. to build camaraderie and connections between B-Mitzvah students and parents
  2. to practice text study and deep thinking about our sacred texts and teachings
  3. to build comfort and familiarity with the rabbi
  4. to stay in conversation and connection with other families who are going through the same time of life as each other
• B-Mitzvah students design a Mitzvah Project with the support of their parents and the rabbi; students are encouraged to create a long term (several months or more), personally motivated, social justice, ritual, or community support informed project

  For example, a Mitzvah Project could be: Taking on a new mitzvah and then reflecting on it - for example, trying out keeping kosher, or trying out wrapping tefillin regularly and then writing a reflection on it

• Parents meet with the Temple Administrator for a full orientation to the logistical nitty gritty of B-Mitzvah at HBT all the way from planning for catering to assigning honors for the service.
• The family must be members in good standing (dues are current for both membership and Chaverim School tuition), with a minimum of three years membership at the synagogue (certain exceptions may be made at the discretion of the rabbi and education director)

Jewish tradition understands lifecycle rituals as essential moments for marking change, expressing gratitude, and strengthening communal bonds. From a Reconstructionist perspective, lifecycle events help individuals locate their personal stories within the larger narrative of Jewish peoplehood and evolving tradition.

Classical Jewish sources teach that life's transitions are not meant to be experienced alone; they are sanctified through community, blessing, and shared presence. By marking births, partnerships, milestones, and transitions through ritual, we affirm continuity, acknowledge growth, and bring intention to moments that shape our lives. These rituals do not require uniform belief, but they do invite reflection, connection, and a sense of belonging — reminding us that Jewish life is lived most fully in relationship with others.

Reconstructionist teachers emphasize that ritual helps us "pay attention" — to one another, to transition, and to what matters most. We understand that ritual gains meaning when it reflects the full diversity of Jewish lives and voices, affirming dignity, inclusion, and relationship.

These moments are most meaningful when shaped collaboratively. For any lifecycle event, members are asked to contact the rabbi and synagogue staff early in the planning process to discuss ritual possibilities, scheduling, and hospitality. Our goal is to create celebrations that feel personal, inclusive, and grounded in communal practice. Hosting a kiddush helps extend the joy to the community, and donations to the rabbi's discretionary fund are always welcome as a way of supporting pastoral care and communal needs.

Temple HBT is a Reconstructionist community, and we believe that lifecycle events should weave together traditional Jewish structure with relevance and accessibility to you and your family. Our rabbi will work with your family closely on your lifecycle event, explaining the traditional structure of the event and then adapting it to fit within your vision. For an example, to make it concrete: The traditional ceremony of a Brit Milah (circumcision) involves three components: 1. Establishment of covenant (traditionally through circumcision) 2. Naming (announcement of the baby's name) and 3. Blessings (given to the baby and to the family). If you would like to hold either a circumcision, a baby naming, or a name change ceremony as an adult through Temple HBT, our rabbi will walk through this traditional structure with you and then think together with you about how to make it meaningful in your life. This could involve adapting some of the traditional components, even while the ritual contains them as a foundation.

Our sanctuary and other rooms in our building can be rented out (to members and non-members) for life cycle events by contacting Benita Block (bblock@templehbt.org). Priority is given to scheduled HBT events. Additionally, we do not rent space in the building during Shabbat or festivals. As an example, a private lifecycle event (one including non-members) cannot happen in our sanctuary on Saturday morning, as the sanctuary is being used at that time for services. In agreement with the Rabbi, however, and when appropriate, a lifecycle event held concurrently with Shabbat or a festival can be open to non-members, but must be inclusive of HBT community members who are present.

Our sanctuary is our ark, which contains several Torahs. Torahs are part of human life, and concerts and dances and other such gatherings can be held with our Torahs in the space. The ark should remain closed unless the full focus of the community is on the Torahs.

Because of ritual laws, it is our tradition not to hold a memorial service with a coffin in our sanctuary.

Members of HBT can contact the rabbi about wedding and commitment ceremonies. Our spaces are available for rental to both members and non-members, though non-members will likely need to hire a separate rabbi to officiate the ceremony. Our rabbi is comfortable and welcoming of interfaith marriages, LGBTQ marriages, and everything from very traditional ceremonies to creative rituals. Our rabbi will work with you as a couple to study and understand the traditional Jewish wedding ceremony and then adapt it, if desired, to your context, vision, and personality.

Auf‑Rauf (Aufruf) before a wedding

An auf‑rauf is a traditional way to mark an upcoming wedding by calling one or both partners to the Torah during Shabbat services a week or so prior to the actual main event. In our community, an auf‑rauf can be both a personal celebration and a communal moment, acknowledging the couple's transition into a new stage of life within the Jewish people. It is also a chance for couples to share their joy with members of the synagogue. Couples planning an auf‑rauf should contact the rabbi and synagogue staff in advance to discuss timing, ritual options, and participation.

Wedding Anniversaries

Wedding anniversaries offer an opportunity to pause, reflect, and celebrate enduring partnership and commitment. Members may choose to mark significant anniversaries with an aliyah, a blessing, or another ritual moment during Shabbat services. Those interested should reach out to the rabbi and synagogue staff to explore meaningful options and logistics.

Welcoming a new child into the community is a joyful moment, and baby namings offer a way to mark that moment with intention, gratitude, and blessing. In our Reconstructionist community, baby namings can take many forms and reflect the values and hopes of each family. Families interested in a baby naming ceremony are encouraged to contact the rabbi and synagogue staff to discuss the ritual and how it might be incorporated into a Shabbat service or another gathering. Baby namings can be held at the temple or in a family living room. Families may also choose to host a kiddush with light food to celebrate with the community, and a donation to the rabbi's discretionary fund is a meaningful and appreciated way to honor the occasion. A baby naming for a child assigned male at birth can include circumcision, or a ritual can be created (in discussion with the rabbi) that welcomes the baby into the covenant of the Jewish people in an alternative way. Baby namings can be held for babies of all genders. The rabbi can assist with choosing a Hebrew name. Often, a Hebrew name is given after a deceased relative. Hebrew names can also be chosen based on themes or characters from our texts.

The Avodah Committee spent more than two years studying and considering Jewish tradition and rituals in order to offer a practical guide that reflects our minhag (local custom). Certain customs may differ in other congregations as well as in other cities and regions. Using a Reconstructionist lens for both ritual aspects and the personal experience of grief, the guide offers comfort and understanding for members of our community. Hard copies of the guide are available through the temple office, and a link to a digital copy can be found in the Appendix.

The guide is intended to support individuals and families through the death and mourning process by explaining Jewish rituals and ways to deal with grief. At the end of the guide, there are a number of resources that address these questions in more depth. We summarize the essential components of the guide below.

The summary reflects our HBT community's practices and values in responding to death and mourning. Rooted in Jewish tradition, our approach emphasizes kavod hamet (dignity for the deceased), nichum avelim (care for mourners), and active involvement of the rabbi and congregation.

As death approaches, Jewish tradition emphasizes presence, dignity, and preparation. Families are encouraged to engage in open conversations about medical directives, end-of-life wishes, and spiritual needs. We urge families to contact the rabbi and temple office early, even before death occurs. This allows the community to provide spiritual, emotional, and practical support.

The rabbi can:

• Visit, provide comfort to the dying through presence and prayer
• Help navigate medical and ethical decisions such as life support, DNR orders and organ donation which is generally supported as life-saving
• Support conversations about legacy, including ethical wills

The congregation, often through the Chesed Committee, may assist with meals, transportation, and other needs during this time and beyond.

Jewish tradition offers us a phrase for the moment when one hears of a death: Baruch Dayan ha-Emet (Blessed is the True Judge). This phrase expresses so much in a few words: helplessness, questioning, wonder, reverence, and even despair. Our congregation uses these words to announce a death in our community.

Families should:

• Notify a funeral home and inform the rabbi as soon as possible (when possible, selection of a funeral home and burial plots can be made in advance; see resources in the guide)
• Provide necessary information for arrangements
• Treat the body with respect, in keeping with kavod hamet (respect for the deceased)

The period before burial (aninut) is focused on making arrangements and the community is largely expected to refrain from visits, calls or disruptions during this liminal time. Funeral and burial are typically held as soon as possible, consistent with Jewish tradition.

Our minhag (tradition) strongly encourages close coordination with the rabbi in planning the funeral and mourning process.

• Funeral homes are the most common setting and provide the necessary and appropriate logistical expertise (see HBT Death and Mourning Booklet available in the lobby of from the Temple Administrator or Rabbi)
• Use of the synagogue (sanctuary or chapel) is possible only in certain circumstances and should be discussed with the rabbi. Please refer to the booklet for details on HBT policies.
• Graveside services may be appropriate for smaller or more private gatherings.

Even when a funeral is held elsewhere/far from Boston, families are asked to inform the temple so the community can support the mourners and acknowledge the loss.

Jewish funerals emphasize simplicity, equality, and respect:

• Tahara, (preparation of the body) and Shemira (guarding or watching over the body)
• Simple shrouds and a plain wooden casket
• Avoidance of embalming and public viewing
• Focus on prayer, eulogy, and remembrance

The funeral service is typically brief and planned in collaboration with the rabbi and family.

Burial and Interment follows the funeral and includes:

• Kriyah (ritual tearing of clothing by mourners)
• Participation in placing earth on the grave
• First recitation of Kaddish

The community offers comfort immediately afterward, marking the transition from honoring the deceased to supporting the mourners. Participation in burial is considered a profound act of kindness.

Shiva (literally "seven") begins after burial and lasts up to seven days. Some choose to observe this ritual for a shorter period or in two locations if the deceased lived far from the mourner's home and community and the funeral is not near the community/HBT.

Our community practice includes:

• Holding shiva in the home of the mourner when possible
• Organizing minyanim, often in the evening, with community support
• Providing meals and practical assistance

Visitors are expected to follow the mourner's lead, offering presence, listening, and, when appropriate, sharing memories.

• Sheloshim (30 days): gradual return to daily life while avoiding celebrations
• Kaddish: recited regularly, especially in community settings
• For a parent: Kaddish is traditionally recited for 11 months

Mourners are encouraged to participate in synagogue life, where communal prayer offers structure and support.

Our minhag supports continued remembrance through:

• Yahrzeit: annual candle lighting in the home and Kaddish
• Yizkor services on major holidays
• Unveiling of a grave marker within the first year
• Acts of tzedakah/giving to causes dear to the deceased or the mourners in memory of the deceased

The congregation also memorializes the deceased through communal acknowledgment and remembrance practices.

• Engage the rabbi early and often
• Involve the congregation as a source of care and support
• Honor Jewish tradition while allowing for thoughtful adaptation
• Uphold dignity, simplicity, and compassion at every stage

• Reconstructing Judaism (Official website)
• Ritualwell From their website: "Ritualwell is the most extensive online resource that curates original Jewish rituals for Jews and fellow seekers. We publish rituals, ceremonies, prayers and poems to mark sacred moments in Jewish life."

• Full Kashrut Policy
• Misheberach List Policy
• Chaverim Handbook
• B-Mitzvah Handbook (The Whole Megillah)
• Death and Mourning Guide: From Death to Mourning: A Guide to Jewish Practice

Members: Emily Engler, Robin Fox, Rachel Shapp, Stephanie Shur, Shelley Stevens, Joyce Wardle with Rabbi Aliza Schwartz also as a voting member.

The Avodah Committee would like to recognize current committee chair Susannah Sirkin and members Rachel Shapp and Shelley Stevens for their initiation, drafting and editing of this document. Their energy, knowledge, and creativity produced this living work which would not exist without their efforts. The document benefited from review by the whole committee.

The Avodah Committee would also like to thank HBT's rabbi, Aliza Schwartz, and education director Hillary Pinsker-Engler for staying in partnership and conversation with the authors throughout the process. Their guidance and input has been foundational. The Committee extends its gratitude to Benita Block for her support in gathering institutional resources and documents that helped form the basis of this work.

Lastly, thanks to Socrates "Moreno" Guzman for his work to make our spaces beautiful and ready for the community.

We welcome members of diverse personal experiences with Jewish ritual - no previous experience necessary. The committee strives to include as many perspectives as we can to truly represent our community. We meet once a month in the evening, with voluntary commitments to projects or smaller meetings. If you are interested in joining the Avodah Committee at any time, please reach out to Benita Block to be put in touch with the current committee leadership. We welcome your questions, responses, input and participation.